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Hurt People Don’t Have to Hurt People (Proverbs 27:6)

It’s a choice! Just because you have been hurt does not mean you must hurt somebody else. I know it’s common in the collective consciousness that "hurt people hurt people," but let me tell you, hurt people don’t have to hurt people. It is a choice. Hurt people can hurt people. That’s a choice, but that’s not the only choice. You can make a higher choice. If the people who are hurt get help, they can, in turn, help somebody else. Just because you have been hurt does not mean that you must live in that hurt, stay in that hurt, or hurt yourself as a result of being hurt, or try to hurt that person back, or seek vengeance.

Hurt people can help people. When you are hurt, get the help that you need. Go to counseling, journal, get a coach, and work through those emotions, that hurt, that pain, that discomfort, that disease, and that dysfunction. Because you are hurt, you can get help; when you get help, you can help somebody else. The greatest healers are people who have been hurt.

 I remember when I was hurt by the church, the bishops, the overseers, the spiritual leaders and the elders, the deacons and the ministers, the missionaries and the mothers and the saints and the friends. I was hurt. I was hurt by the apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers. When my wife died, when my twins' mother transitioned, they didn’t know what to say to help me, so I was hurt by the fact that they couldn’t help me. Telling me, "Earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t heal," didn’t help me. Telling me that "God needed a flower in his garden, so he picked your wife" didn’t help me.

Telling me that "God needed a jewel in his crown, so he picked your wife" did not help me. It hurt me because it was instant. You can’t see it right now, but just "praise your way out." They didn’t know how to help me, so they hurt me with their words, their actions, their inactions, their silence. I was hurt. But you know what I did? I went to counseling, I went to therapy, I got some help, and then I became a therapist, so I was able to help somebody else.

Hurt people don’t have to hurt people. Hurt people can get help and then help people. Not only can hurt people choose to help but hurt people can also heal people. Hurt people can get healed and then help other people heal. You are a vessel to heal on this earth, a conduit to bring healing to the planet. You are a vessel to bring healing to the planet.

You are a resource that God flows through to bring healing to this planet. You don’t have to live in that hurt. You don’t have to hurt yourself because you have been hurt. You don’t have to hurt other people because you have been hurt. Jesus said, "Bless those that curse you, do good to those that do evil to you, speak well of those who speak evil of you." He says, "If your enemy hungers, feed that person," because you are bringing about a process of healing, help, and wholeness.

You create a negative cycle when you hurt people because they hurt you. You keep the negative energy going. You keep that cycle of negativity flowing. But when you decide that just because you hurt me by what you said or didn’t say, because you hurt me by what you did or didn’t do, I will not hurt you back. The buck stops here. The negative cycle ends here.

I will give you grace and mercy because blessed are the merciful; they shall obtain mercy. So, I am not going to hurt you, and I am not going to try to get vengeance or revenge. Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. I am going to heal myself so I can heal others. I will get some help for myself so I can help others.

I know some things happened to you when you were a child, and you were not old enough to understand or deal with them, but you are an adult now. Your hurt is not an excuse to hurt other people. Get the help that you need. Resources are available so that you can get help so that you can heal. Go to a 12-step program and get a sponsor. It is not enough to just say, "Oh, I was hurt, so this is the excuse for my behavior." No, get the help you need and the healing you need. It is still available. Healing is still possible. It is not too late for you to be healed. It’s not too late for you to be made whole.

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